I woke up this morning (what a relief!) with a list a mile long and no (zip, zero, zilch!) energy or motivation to accomplish any of it. I am sure this is a situation that befalls all of us. At some time. Or another. This morning, it was my turn. And that feeling sometimes terrifies me.

Few things terrify me like the Weeping Angels from Doctor Who.
Feeling ho hum is one of those things.

We returned home Friday, after spending a few days away. Camping. It was the first time we had gone (anywhere on holidays) as a family. My parents generously rented a trailer for us in a lovely campground, about an hour away, managed by my mom’s cousin. It was a perfect holiday for making memories. And boy, did we make some! The weather was perfect. We spent countless hours down at the beach. Had a campfire every night under a blanket of stars and constellations. Walked miles and saw all kinds of neat nature things. It was a lovely time.

Dirty Laundry

Anyways. We returned home Friday, with oodles of rocks, shells and dirty laundry in tow. Needless to say, that laundry had a spot on my too-long-for-my-taste list right near the top. Judging by my sorted piles this was going to be a marathon. But I started early. I am currently nearing the home stretch. And by that I mean, I can almost see the floor again. Almost. It is at times like this I want to run down to my laundry room and thank my machines. I love them dearly. And not because they do all the hard work. I waited years to buy these machines. They were not feasible at our old house.

When we moved in to this place we inherited a vintage pair from the previous owner. They worked fine enough. Until they didn’t. About 3 weeks in to our residency. I made a conscious decision to wait it out for the Boxing Day sales. And it was worth it! I scored a wicked deal. But they weren’t going to be able to deliver them until the end of January. CRAP! Oh well, what’s a month, right? Well, a month turned into two and a half. But still. They were worth waiting for.

When I look around our house, even down in the basement where the laundry machines are, I cannot believe how much it has changed since we moved in seven months ago. During our visits to the house, even before we had purchased it, we always chuckled because of the massive amounts of laundry. All. Over. The. House. A young, single gal previously resided here. Our wee one’s bedroom was being used as a GIGANTIC walk-in closet (clothes and shoes EVERYWHERE). The master was littered with a mix of clean and dirty clothes. Bras and panties galore! It was unbelievable. But nothing compared to what awaited in the basement…racks and racks and racks of clothes drying. Piles and piles and piles of clothes waiting to be washed. I swear, she could have opened a small retail outlet!

Up and Down

I am not a good sleeper. I could blame genetics (Dad is a terrible sleeper, insomniac) or Diabetes. But I think it is just my nature. I’m not very good at sitting around either. Curses.

On average I sleep about 5 hours a night. Much more than that and I am terribly cranky. Bitchy even. It is never a wish of mine to sleep in. I go mad as a hatter should I ever sleep beyond my designated time (whatever that might be!). Lately I have not been sleeping that much. I have been plagued by several things. And so, wake up several times a night. Not even due to the wee one sneaking in periodically. I just wake up. And then I start thinking. So I read (mostly blogs on my phone so as not to disturb my hubby, though he could sleep through the end of times!). But then I start reading. When I should be sleeping.

Not sleeping doesn’t leave me tired. It leaves me frustrated. And annoyed. Sort of the same way a rough go with Diabetes leaves me feeling. I become irritated because I cannot control it.

I didn’t sleep well last night. At all. Normally I would have suffered through the day just fine. Without noticeable issue, at least. But this morning my blood sugars decided to give me a go (probably all the heat and humidity in the air). Over and over my blood glucose plummeted. Rebounding from a low is not always easy. Not something one just shakes off and resumes whatever it is they were doing. At least not today. The morning’s lows left me shattered. Without energy. Achy body. Muddled mind. Distracted…

What was I blogging about?

Days like today can go one of two ways for me. I either stick to my guns, fix myself up good enough and carry on; the end of day never too far from sight, or I spiral. Today I spiralled. Nothing was going right. My heart felt heavy. The wee one wasn’t listening (perhaps, as he had told my mom when he was last there, his listening ears were still charging!) to anything. The dog couldn’t pick a spot to be. And I had all that laundry and cleaning to do. There is SO much!

When I have these kind of days I still manage to get things done, but it is not absent of effort. It has taken everything in me today to not fall completely apart. I have been on the verge of tears for hours. And I don’t know why. I start to second guess myself during these times. I popped onto my Facebook page for my art/cakes and saw that not only had the number of LIKES not increased (despite all of my efforts) but a few people had actually UNLIKED my page. What the fuck? I totally don’t understand that. And I am not tech savvy enough to find out who or why. Then I contacted a few clients who had expressed interest for August only to be shot down by each and every one of them (I am not upset with my customers, their declines just came on the wrong day).

My hubby even offered to come home from work. I declined. Unfortunately, his current position does not allow for such events. If he doesn’t work he doesn’t get paid. Besides, if he came home all that would do is allow me to curl up in bed. Hiding. Under the covers. Instead I have forged on through the day. Cleaning (with a bit of rearranging of furniture) and laundry.

Where now?

For me, there is no place like home. We were pretty wiped on Friday when we got in, and basically just unloaded and unpacked. No energy for much else. Yesterday we opted to head out and hit up the garden centre. There were great deals to be had. Most things were on clearance and we took advantage. We scooped up some lovely shrubs and a tree. Then came home and puttered around the yard planting and arranging.

Today I was supposed to power through the laundry and clean the house. The house that I cleaned the day before we left. But I guess you can make a mess getting ready to go camping and returning. It is that or I need to have a talk with Terror (the cat). Find out what he gets up to while we are away. Not all was lost to my moodiness. I managed to get a good chunk of laundry done (I’m typing this as quickly as I can so I can go switch it over). And I managed to clean a fair amount of the house. I will tackle the kitchen tomorrow.

Fingers crossed.