Most people are worthy of a second chance. Many of us do not know how to properly offer one. And, everyone finds themselves in need one at some point.

I almost hesitate to use the term second chance because there is the implication of guilt or desperation, and that is not always necessarily so. But nothing is clear so why would this be any different, right? Perhaps, a better way to put would be renewed venture?

I hesitate to imply either guilt or desperation because sometimes things happen that are not pleasant or nice and people may think that we have caused unnecessary harm, but what goes unrecognized and sometimes unrealized are our own needs or growth preceding the second chance. People wrongly focus on only one side (their side) of any given situation and in doing so, refuse to acknowledge any other side thus discrediting all that you have experienced without knowing what it is. And, should you never be “granted” an opportunity to converse about it you will never be able to convey that which has occurred (your side) and if you are, the grantor is almost sure to imply that you are fortunate to be given a chance to do so. I think is because there is a lot of currency given to the mistakes we make in our youth. Those are the riches of the world sometimes, unattainable yet so prevalent.

We all want the opportunity for a “do over” – I’m sure there is a point you can go back to and say, “Hmm, be nice to fix that up!” – but that opportunity doesn’t always come along. Sometimes this is because it is not necessary, regardless of what you think, there may be no need for you to do it over; more than likely, what you need to do is think about it a little bit more, squeeze all the knowledge from that experience. There is always a lesson – make sure you grab it! You cannot make something happen that should not be – even if we try to align the stars and force a renewed venture it will not happen if it is not meant to and if it is, it will not happen until it is meant to; this doesn’t mean that you have to be satisfied with the outcome, but it does mean that you may not be able to change it. So what do you? You have to take what you can, as much positive as you can, and apply it while you move on.

Unfortunately, this sometimes means you have to consider removing certain people and things or situations from your life. Why not? Would it not be better to let those people and things go than to hang on and let them wear on you, change you, make you unhappy or unhealthy? People you have to remove may be bad people. Others may not be, but require removal all the same. Remember, intention isn’t everything. You can remove people from your life and still be a good person. Why do we always feel so guilty doing right by us? Silly! Sometimes when we remove people (and things) it is not forever. You may think it is, but that may not be the case. That door may not be open, but it may not be locked either. Recently I turned the knob on a door most people would have said was not only shut and locked, but potentially untouchable only to find it open and what lay beyond better and more than I could have ever imagined. And, it not only did me and the people on the other side of the door a whole lot of good, but it did good the people around me. Unfortunately, the door has a few guards that remain on-duty, though there is no need, and worse, unwilling to budge so their presence is like interference in this renewal. That is unfair – again, intention isn’t everything. But you make the most of it, because right behind that chance is time. And time is always chomping at the bit.

I think this is another area in life where we hand over too much to other people. Perhaps, the second chance we need comes from within. And, really, where else should it come from? I mean, if the situation requires it, you may need another person to agree to a renewed venture in order to achieve a repaired relationship, but a lot of the time we hold on to guilt that no one but us bestowed. Just like people are not out there judging your every move (contrary to what we may think or how it may feel at times) people are not following you thrusting upon you the weight of guilt, so don’t willingly and unnecessarily put it on yourself.