There’s a strange flu going around. Lurking in the shadows. Waiting for its victim. Waiting to leech energy, motivation and will.
I watched hubby ride the rollercoaster that is this flu all last week. He was completely drained, bordering on lethargic, full of aches and pains, burning eyes and an insatiable hunger for slumber. Awe, poor guy – he looks terrible… It sneakily stole his energy day in and day out for over a week. Vignettes of verve followed by lassitude. No real appetite. No matter the many naps, lay-ins or amounts of extra rest, he just couldn’t get to feeling himself.
I’m there now. Right in the thick of it. Feeling dizzy, light-headed and confused. As well as, exhausted and sore. Lucky me. It seems I picked up the limited edition vomit version of the flu that hubby avoided.
I had a lot planned for this week. Mainly stuff around the house. Some business organization and preparation. And a couple of shifts at the store. But none of that would get done. Including the two shifts at the store – unfortunately, the two days I was scheduled to work were the two days my stomach gave way. And I spent the bulk of my time tangoing with the toilet. While doing this dance I was also lost in a haze. Foggy-minded I meandered my way through the week (thus far).
One Brain to Rule Them All
My brain means a lot to me. Given my brain injury and memory issues, I am especially protective of my brain power. Making simple mistakes is incredible frustrating to me. Forgetfulness is infuriating. So a flu like this with accompanying confusion and cloudiness is utterly maddening.
For about five days now I have been struggling to stay focused. Struggling to complete a thought or a task. Struggling to stay awake. All I want to do is close my eyes…
Sorry. But it is just like that. One minute you have your wits about you. The next, you are checking the corner of your mouth for the slightest slippage of slumber induced saliva.
Missing from it all too is my motivation. I simply cannot muster any up! Argh. I have great want and desire to do a great many things. However, my mind simply cannot get me there. This flu seems to trick you into having a really grand cohesive thought only to smack you silly when you try to act on it. Asshole. Who? Me? No! The flu!
It feels like my brain can only manage the functions of keeping me alive (if I had more mental strength I might consider arguing that point) and not the bonus functions of free thinking and creativity. Even conjuring up cohesiveness for this wee post was beyond difficult. With the entrée of confusion this flu also serves up a hefty side dish of distraction. And for dessert? A sliver of scatter-brained.
Honestly, I wish I had seen a menu first.
Food for Thought
Thinking is not for everyone. Really.
But I rather enjoy it. And I have missed that exercise this week.
Perhaps with a little bit more rest I will have the energy to get back to it.
Hope you are well.
4 thoughts on “Matters of the Mind”
Hope you feel better soon 🙂 (and maybe just go with what your body wants and sleep for a while. ..)
Thanks so much. I promise I have given in…if only a little!
“One Brain to Rule Them All” had me laughing in the midst of your misery.
Suggestion: more self-referencing back links (“my brain injury” “memory issues”).
Feel better. Plan tiny rewards (“…and on SUNday, I will…!”) to encourage yourself for having to do what we all have to do (working, being a mommy, preparing food, blah, blah) while you’re not all back yet. Works for me!
Thanks so much.
I have been trying desperately to link back and will definitely take the suggestion to do more of it regardless of its tedious nature and my own difficulties remembering what I have written. 😛