The events of the summer pushed it passed us far too quickly, yet the haze of it made it feel eternal. There was growth and change of such great magnitudes new worlds were born. And from them majesty and wonder.
And new beginnings.
In mere hours I will send my little one out in the world. He has never been to day care. He has never had a babysitter. And, because we only reconnected with my parents at the beginning of last year, I can quite literally count on two hands the number of times he has been away from me.
He will go out in the world. Unique and magical. And he will change it. He has already proven himself more than capable of making it a better place. He has altered lives in ways their masters were unaware possible. He brightens the day of every path and person he comes across. He shines a light I have never seen before and am humbled to witness.
A Time for Every Transition
Time is a heavy subject for me. I know it has a lot of presence in my posts. I imagine it is something many people think about. Consider. Dwell on.
Human beings seem to struggle with time. We are never quite sure where to place it. How to manage it. Desperately searching for a way to manipulate and change it. Rule over it.
And as much as time can escape us we can exhaust it.
The results of exhausted time can border on catastrophic. Depending on where, when and if we catch it before the actual moment of exhaustion comes. And goes.
As I mentioned above I have spent very little time away from my precious little boy. And in turn he has spent very little time away from me. Full day kindergarten is going to be a massive change for us both. Hubby too. One might even say our little trio is close-knit. Bordering on co-dependency. Ha ha.
Deep, deep breath.
This last week of summer proved especially trying. Beyond the hacking, the hypo and the hijacking. My blood sugars ran amuck all week. Typical of my PMS but intensified by all of the stress. The little guy had a run of about four days where we his parents questioned both his sanity and our own. Turns out we are all fine. Phew! After several days of ‘acting out’ (something completely out of the norm for him, he really is a very well-mannered and excellently behaved child) he broke. And told us he is going to miss us when he goes to school. We had a good long chat (which will likely happen again). And we all felt better.
Deep, deep breath.
His unusual behaviour alerted me to the fact that he too is ready for change. Of course this did not come as a surprise. And it was not a last-minute realization. But I did realize that we are both ready for a bit of space from each other. I had to acknowledge that I need this change just as much as he does. And while I am nervous and excited for him to go on out there, I am equally so for myself to have some time to me.
Perhaps. That time is the part of the transition I fear the most.
A Season for the Soul
I adore autumn. More than any other time of the year. And not because I have a birthday in fall.
The approaching time of year invigorates and inspires me. I feel different. I find it so magical. It truly is a time of transition. And nature puts on a marvelous display full of wonder and beauty.
Leaves fall from the trees and sparkle like gems in the sunlight on their way to the ground. The flora and fauna emerge with the experience of another summer behind them. Some will leave. Returning next year while others have embarked on a journey of another kind. The sky sheds a few shades of blue. In favour of cooler tones of grey. And we adorn ourselves in layers of fabric in preparation for the return of coziness and comfort.
Stop holding your breath.
There is great value to be taken from the opportunity to recharge. There is nothing wrong with a little hunkering down. Things begin to slow. The rushed-ness of summer dissolves. Like sugar in water. So quickly. Like it was never there to begin with.
I am grateful the school year begins in the autumn. I think it is well timed. The time to learn pairs nicely with the refurbishing of the soul. Teamed up they give us hope for a greater understanding of our growth.
Apprehensions and nervousness aside I am terribly excited for the next chapter of our lives. There will be a whole host of new coming our way. We. Are. Ready. Breath.
Kindergarten more so than daycare is our children’s introduction to the world and its social structure. A friend told me when she sent her son off to school (nearly two decades ago) she was worried that the world would taint and change him but bolstered it by saying you have to have faith that you have done your best to prepare and nurture them.
I cannot wait for what this school year will bring. Secretly I cannot wait for the holiday concerts and picture day. I hope he makes friends. I hope he has fun. I hope he shines brightly so everyone can see just how special he is. Because he is.
He will be fine. I will be fine. We will all be fine. Because we will. And we want to be. And that alone is enough to jump any hurdle.