Imposed Reality

Why is it we feel compelled to give our opinions?

A lot of people seem to do this especially when the subject at hand is none of their business or have little (or no) knowledge of what is going on; a lot of people do this without meaning to impose or cause harm. However, most do both. Even the imposition that comes via a caring word dolled up in a kind smile is still an imposition. A judgement of sorts.

You better put a sweater on that baby sang out the old neighbour lady, he’s too little and he’ll catch his death if you go out like that! Really? It was the middle of summer and my then six-month old was sweating in the short-sleeved onesie he was wearing. I was already prepared. I had not only a sweater but also a blanket (permanently) tucked in the bottom of the stroller. Why? Because each and every time I took that baby out during his first year of life that woman injected herself in to our daily routine. I waved the blanket in the air – ironically it was white and knitted by the same neighbour lady – and went on my merry way.

Knowing when and how to control your mouth (for lack of fancy language) is an art most people have not mastered. Emotions can overrun us, make us brave, and make us weary. Emotions can build up, or suddenly emerge, and burst out at the most inappropriate of times. We gleam courage from a can, bottle or glass. We lose our inhibitions. We get chatty. We become characters at times. Emotions can ignite an exaggerated version of ourselves. A version that can suddenly explode like a firecracker. Shooting light in a million different directions. All at once.

Thought counts for what?

I honestly believe a great deal of the world’s issues and our own issues within that world could be solved with a bit more thought. Real, honest to goodness thought. And consideration.

Gone are the days of courtesy.

The world is different now, yes. It has dramatically changed over the last couple decades and things are different. The way we converse with others, the slang and colloquial nature of language has shifted, as well as, the technology and means we use to do so.

And please don’t get me wrong. It isn’t all bad. That technological swing is what finds me able to connect with all of you who so kindly take the time to drop in here.

There are more of us in the world, but every day it becomes dangerously smaller.

Children must be raised differently. It blows my mind that there are public service announcements reminding people to go outside and be active. But I guess it is needed as most kids are over-sugared and uninspired these days. And that is so sad. Children must learn things earlier now. We must now protect them at an earlier stage in their lives so that we still have them with us later. We need to encourage them, love them and tell them how important they are. We must teach them to be and do good. Because we need more of that in the world.

No one thinks anymore. And I don’t mean daydream. There is a serious lack of consideration in these parts (I certainly hope you read that with the cowpoke twang I did!)…and by these parts, I mean the whole world. All of us. We are so wrapped up in whatever it is we do that we don’t even know what it is we do anymore. We are ignorant and rude to each other. Rushed and short. We no longer encourage or support the efforts of others. A species laden with snobbery and prejudice. Thoughtless and unaware.

Commitment Less

As we put more and more technology between us, as we disengage the in-person and boot up the online, we in fact regress.

The world moves at a stunning pace. Super speed mode. What was in or important yesterday is nowhere to be found today and it will most certainly be forgotten tomorrow.

Technology like the environment shines a spotlight on our progress. The more things we can do faster is always the chosen route but is that actually progress? Unlikely. What mistakes and missteps are happening along the way? Too many to count, probably. Will they come back to haunt not us but future generations? Likely. Is there even a point in attempting to change any of it? Absolutely. Change is progress. There is no denying that it moves us forward. What we need to do is be smart about the kinds of change we are going to encourage and allow.

Super speed mode terrifies me. There is no chance for completion anymore. Everyone answered the query are we ready for things to move this fast with the most dangerous reply, well it looks good enough. Everything is a façade these days. And that is not just limited to architecture.

This next best thing way of life ruins our relationships with one another. People do not commit to each other as they once did. A lot of people fear commitment, whether that of a friendship or something more intimate. We stray. Human beings will always think the grass greener on the other side, but that is simply because we give up on each other too easily. We help at an arm’s length to avoid getting our hands dirty, to avoid getting involved, and all this really does is stop us from helping. We are standoffish and adverse to commitment. Especially when it comes to ourselves. And that lays the groundwork for other relationships. How can those relationships thrive when we are unable to nurture the one we have with ourselves?

It was a big step for me to actually say to myself, you are worth sticking it out for. Not only did I have to go through the motions of convincing myself I was worthy, but I had to figure out how I was going to make that commitment. The commitment to me. But I did. I stripped every inch of my being down to the core. Examined it. Studied it. Came to know and understand who I was. A bit of patience and exploration brought me a wealth of information about me. I shone a light in every dark corner just to see what was hidden there, if anything. I chased away what didn’t belong there, in those most secret of places.

Sometimes I think our want or need to give up so quickly is directly related to fear.

Any final words?

We share our opinions so we are heard. Because that is something human beings need. A voice. A means of communicating. Often it matters not whether someone listens or not. That is not the end result most are looking for. Most people simply want to be heard. Literally and figuratively.

Even me. *wink wink*

*** *** ***

I feel like this post came out of nowhere. I feel like it rambles a bit. And for that, I am sorry.

I was initially headed in a different direction and somehow ended up here. Which isn’t too bad. Especially given my point of view, here is where I am meant to be because it is where I am.

One thought on “Imposed Reality

  1. Hi Rebecca – I just love it when a post takes you in a direction you hadn’t intended. It pulls on the traces in spite of your protests.

    A lot of excellent ideas here and many that have been on my mind, too. Especially the “super speed” and “good enough” issues. I think that everyone is in a little cubbyhole figuratively and literally and doesn’t look beyond to get the big picture. We do only what needs doing to finish a task and quickly move on the the next. We don’t look to see if what we are doing makes sense or if it is appropriate for the context. We follow and script and that’s that.

    The other point I’d like to comment on is the bit about being told to get outside. It’s troubled me for years that anytime I travel along a city street or country road and I see all of the beautiful settings and houses with enormous yards I wonder: where is everybody? Acres upon thousands of acres of mowed lawn and not a soul in sight.

    Thanks for writing and for the opportunity to share my two cents!

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