Communication Breakdown: It’s always the same

Over the last few months many things in my life have changed. While some of these changes are notable others are not just as some of the changes occurred with my knowledge and without, as they often do, but every change brings the possibility of learning and growth. Still, many people fear change because of its unknown property. We are so tremendously afraid of what we do not know and it makes no sense because once we make the effort to get to know the unknown it is no longer foreign and, therefore, should no longer be feared.

I am of the opinion not enough of us talk to ourselves. In this age of sharing it is important not to disconnect from yourself in an effort to connect with everyone else. No one seems to check in on themselves with the sincerity that deserves, we seem to fluff ourselves off, not taking the issue seriously enough. How well do you really know yourself? Do you check in and make sure that you are doing okay? We need to do this more frequently than not because we are ever changing and usually not completely aware of it, so you need to make sure the you you knew is still that you. You should call yourself up; go out for a drink or a bite to eat. Take yourself to the movies, the art gallery or the museum. You and you should totally go on a date and get to know you! And, if you are feeling too shy, a quiet moment alone and a few personal questions is always a great start.

One of the hurdles in the way of this is that lack of communication between yourself and you, as well as, the breakdowns that occur between us and others. I have always been of the mind that I can handle anything as long as I know what is going to happen – an ounce of prevention is worth a pound in cure, as my grandmother used to always say (but she was born in 1918, and I continue to use the phrase nowadays which has garnered me an odd look sometimes or several times!). It is like when I get tattooed. My artist is also a friend of mine and she always tells me I sit so nicely, and I tell her the same thing each time, “I told myself I am getting ink today.” What I mean when I say this is that I have made myself aware of what is going to happen: I am getting tattooed (not tickled – though two weeks ago when it got close to my arm pit I let loose a giggle!), it is going to be uncomfortable (maybe – I’m at least prepared for it to be, I have a really high tolerance for pain so it usually doesn’t bother me too much) and take a while. Armed with that I am able to go and sit at ease while I get tattooed.

People forget that communication is a multi-faceted tool one can utilize and employ in a number of ways. You can communicate feelings, emotions, thoughts, ideas to share and educate. Sometimes sharing ideas and thoughts get people in to trouble, sometimes not sharing does worse. Communication is expression; a way for you to shine your light in the darkness. Communication is an invaluable tool.

Our bodies communicate with us in a million-zillion ways, and we are only aware of a small percentage of them, each and every moment of the day. I am finitely aware of this as I rely on the communication between my body and me (and sometimes my body and others) for my life. As a person with Type 1 Diabetes, I count on the signs and signals my body issues to alert me should there be a problem with my blood glucose levels – if my blood glucose is low, I feel shaky, sweaty and uneasy (I always tell my husband I feel like I am really small deep down inside of myself and I cannot connect with the bigger me, others equate the ‘lows’ to being severely intoxicated), should my levels be elevated I become irritable, drowsy and confused (most times I know my blood glucose is high if I feel the BITCH – that’s no typo, I can physically feel myself becoming bitch-y with no way to stop it save a check on the glucometer for accuracy and a good ole syringe full of insulin!). There have been times when I have missed these signs and signals to detrimental effect and so, I count on those around me (and my cat; I know they can now train dogs to aid diabetics, but my devoted feline has trained himself over the last decade and we credit him with saving my life on at least three separate occasions) to clue in and pick up on the communication breakdown between my body and me. And then, there are the scary times when the communication breakdown happens between my body and me and my glucometer and the people or no people around me. Anyways, that is enough about my diabetes…for now.

Communication occurs on several levels and in many different ways. Our grunting and hand gestures became speech (and sign language); we developed our language and the ability to write, so we could communicate what was going on in our lives, a transfer of information – cave drawings paved the way for historical records. We have always been a ‘hear us, see us’ bunch, and not shy us humans: loud and proud…

We communicate consciously and subconsciously, using no language, sign or script on both occasions. Telepathic communication is intriguing to me but also somewhat alarming as it seems semi-invasive if not completely so. I can totally appreciate communication of that nature, in fact, sometimes I think my husband and I communicate telepathically, and without meaning to too; it just doesn’t settle well with me, the idea of having someone in my head, even my husband. Besides, I have enough trouble in there on my own.

Communication is a gift (as well as a tool, and other things), and a truly awesome one too. It is a gift you can give yourself or someone else. Open dialogue is far more palpable than people think and creates a foundation greater and stronger than any diamond. My husband and I have been together for over a decade. Recently he upgraded our communication package; it now includes the promise to continuously work on our communication (mostly on him), to be more emotionally open (maybe both of us?) and maybe a little less practicality between us (that is on both of us, though I know I can take practical to new extremes). Oh, and the promise to not wait so long between upgrades.

3 thoughts on “Communication Breakdown: It’s always the same

  1. Didn’t know where this one was heading at first…glad I kept with it, and really enjoyed the last paragraph. I don’t think most husbands are open to any upgrades. You may have a keeper.

  2. Pingback: Imperfect Fit | A Soul is a Resilient Thing

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