Love is not some “thing” you can find. Nor should one really be looking for it. When you seek out things that are not meant to be sought they only become that much harder to find. Harder to find because things like that will hide. And, hide well. So well in fact they will be standing right in front of you, staring you in the face, but you will never know it. At least, you will not be able to see it properly as the thing you were desperate to find.
Love is not something that you can trip and fall in to either. Love is an emotion and, like all emotions, it is born. Not found. Love is born out of a great many things; however, two key players are friendship and honesty. In its own time it evolves to a feeling…like your soul stirring. It tickles you on the inside, under your skin and all over your body. Once love is born it requires patience and time. Love must be nurtured and encouraged to grow. It will need challenge and meet it, it will endure struggle, for it is through struggle that strength and perspective are gained. And, love needs that. It needs to be strong or it will not survive. One should never fail to remember that love is alive, very much so, and if not cared for properly it will diminish. It will fade.
Love can rise above a great many things. It can both conquer and close distance, whether that separation is caused by geography, time or dimension. For example, when someone you love dies it does not mean their love for you and yours for them ceases. The love that you shared remains alive and keeps us connected to those whom from we have been physically separated. And, we should not worry so much about physical separation from those we love; in many ways, it is the physical that is ultimately limiting. What we can feel in our hearts and see in our imaginations outshines the physical sensations undoubtedly, too many of us too unaware to realize. Love can heal. While you may no longer be able to see, touch or talk to your lost loved one, you can still love them. And that, no matter what, is as real as it needs to be.
For everyone love is an individual and massively complicated matter, and for some it is altogether too complicated. Love can be confusing. Though not because it necessarily wants to be, but sometimes because someone has manipulated and confused it. This can not only be frustrating and upsetting, it can also be damaging.
Even untainted love can hurt. Love can rip you apart, bring you to the brink, and it can bring you back, put you together. It can make you whole. It can be so god damn confusing, but it is worth it. Oh god is it worth it! Love is a bond, and a near impossible one to break. Love can be exhausting and it can be scary. Love is an overwhelming thing to give so much of your heart away. The complexities of love have left too many without it and too few aware of how much there actually is, out there, just waiting to be born.
Love is an odd emotion at times and erupts so suddenly at others, leaving you flushed from trying to contain it. Other times it feels as though it is simply too much work. You want to throw your hands up in the air and walk (sometimes run, screaming, pulling your hair out) away. Yet its majesty and beauty so enticing it can make you want nothing more than to dedicate yourself to it entirely, it can make you sick and see things that are not necessarily what they appear to be to you. Love is most definitely complicated. It is unbearably confusing. It is beautifully insane. It is because it is so; it keeps our hearts light with its subtle surprises, gentle touches and warmth. Its coolness and immaturity are as essential as our own. Our growth can come from helping love through its struggle. We can learn a lot by letting love evolve into its truest form. We can all gain positively if we allow it to fulfill its potential.
Love can be a daunting endeavour. It can be disconcerting and it can definitely be disheartening, but that should not set us back. As much as we may reject or deny it, we need love. Every living thing craves it. We love love, but we loathe it too. But only enough that the struggle makes us advance and grow. Any more than that and it can make you acrimonious.
In the end, love is as puzzling as we are and no less vexing. If we do not have love we do not have much. It sounds totally cliché, but it is painfully true. Everyone has gone through a time in their life when they have felt as though they have no love. But that is quite simply untrue. If we can must it and give love then we have love. And that’s enough. One does not have to necessarily get it to have it, in this instance, and understanding that is key. It is not right to use love, to abuse or turn a blind eye to it. Be gentle and have patience with it; you will be rewarded in ways you may never know, but in ways that will forever change you.